“Happy birthday. Your warranty has definitely expired.”

— Unknown

“You are not old; you are becoming historically significant.”

— Unknown

“Another year wiser, or at least better at looking confident.”

— Unknown

“Age is just a number, and yours is becoming very committed.”

— Unknown

“May your cake be moist and your age remain unverified.”

— Unknown

“Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat dessert first.”

— Unknown

“Congratulations on reaching an age your younger self considered ancient.”

— Unknown

“You have officially unlocked another level with no instructions.”

— Unknown

“The candles now require their own safety briefing.”

— Unknown

“You are aging like a fine password: increasingly difficult to remember.”

— Unknown

“Happy birthday to someone young enough to know better eventually.”

— Unknown

“Today, calories are simply edible birthday wishes.”

— Unknown

“Another birthday, another excellent reason to ignore your inbox.”

— Unknown

“Your age is safe with me. I stopped counting too.”

— Unknown

“Growing older is mandatory; acting sensible remains negotiable.”

— Unknown

“You still look amazing from an appropriately respectful distance.”

— Unknown

“Happy birthday. Let us call the wrinkles limited-edition features.”

— Unknown

“The good news is you are not as old as you will be next year.”

— Unknown

“You make aging look suspiciously entertaining.”

— Unknown

“One more year closer to becoming the eccentric relative.”

— Unknown

“Your birthday outfit should include confidence and elastic.”

— Unknown

“At this age, a surprise party means everyone stayed awake.”

— Unknown

“You deserve a standing ovation, followed by a seated recovery.”

— Unknown

“May your presents be thoughtful and your photos heavily filtered.”

— Unknown

“You are vintage now. Please avoid direct sunlight.”

— Unknown